Honor Thy Teacher (Honor Series) Read online

  I hit send and tossed the phone on the seat next to me. I drank again and closed the bottle before getting out of my car.

  The building was quiet and no one from the outside knew what went on behind these walls. A place like this required an invitation. I had found it after I met a woman at a bar not far from here. She made me realize what I needed.

  I stepped into the dark building, eying the women who sat on their knees waiting for someone to come and sweep them off their feet. My gaze fell on J, the receptionist who always greeted me with a warm smile. It was a small crime, and I had no excuse.

  “Good evening, Sir.” She chimed like a bell. I gave her a quick smile, not wanting to make small talk. The alcohol was possessing me now and I just wanted to be numb. “The usual?” Her lips curved into a wicked grin. I nodded, and turned to make my way back the narrow hall. “Sir?” She called after me. I paused, turning back to face her. “If you’re up for something different..” Her voice trailed off. She motioned to the girls who sat waiting, patiently. “Or perhaps” She bit her lip as she traced the line of her cleavage with her finger, dipping below the neckline of her already low cut blouse. I turned away and continued down the hall. I placed my hand on the doorknob of room three and took a minute to steady myself. I had drunk more than I realized and it was hitting me harder than expected. I stepped inside and removed my shirt, kicking off my shoes at the same time. I stumbled but managed to keep my balance as I finished getting ready. The door creaked and I sunk to my knees. The weight of the world holding me down. The sound of high heels clicked across the hard floor.

  “I didn’t expect to see you so soon.” She said as she walked around me. I didn’t look up. All I could see was her feet in impossibly high heels and her black stockings. “Needing another lesson?” There was amusement in her voice and it irritated the fuck out of me. She bent closer to me from behind, her hot breath on my ear.

  Maybe today I teach you some discipline.” She purred. My lip twitched. Her hand pulled lazily over my shoulder as she rounded in front of me. “Maybe today I teach you pain.” Her finger tips on my chin, angling me up to look at her. My hand shot out and grabbed her wrist before I could think about what I was doing.

  “I have more pain than you could give.” I said through gritted teeth. Her eyes held wide in shock as I forced her to look deep into mine. I held her tight as I rose to my feet. She sunk lower until her knees touched the floor, rocking back until she rested on her heels. I stood over her, her wrist tight in my grip. After a moment of silence she spoke.

  “Yes, Master” The words sent a chill through my body. I released her and grabbed my clothes, shrugging them on quickly.

  I made my way out of the building, not making eye contact with anyone as I went. I doubled over, resting my hands on my knees as I reached the cold nights air. I wanted to vomit; I was so disgusted with myself. I staggered back to my car and slipped inside, grabbing the bottle of alcohol. I took a long swig and waited for the burning to pass before picking up my phone.

  Looking forward to it.

  The text I had not waited to see from Emma flashed on the screen. She deserved better. I took another drink before typing out my reply.

  You will be sorry you said that.

  I knew she wouldn’t take it as the warning I had intended. I wasn’t strong enough to push her away. I took another drink, glancing at the half-filled bottle. I let my head fall back on the seat as I cranked the engine and let myself get lost in the music.

  “I want to take my love and hate you till the end” rang through the speakers. I closed my eyes, slipping deeper into my sadness. My phone beeped and I was almost afraid to pick it up.

  I miss you.

  I repeated the words over and over again in my head. What would she think of me now? I was sick.

  Emma, don’t

  I hit send and hoped that she would be mad. I couldn’t stand her feeling anything like that but she needed to. She needed to hate me.

  Chapter Nineteen

  I sat alone, bottle in hand, as I listened to one depressing song after another. The walls I had built to keep everyone out were crumbling around me. I could no longer numb the pain I felt with alcohol or a one-night stand. I had no choice but to face it head on.

  As I sat, lost in my self-induced pain my phone glowed to life. I had enabled the tracking on Emma’s phone, purely for her safety. At least, that is the lie I told myself. Regardless of my excuses, she was leaving the safety of her friend’s home and making her way to the busier side of town. I growled as my anger began to boil over. I had sent her away for her own safety and she is already putting herself in more danger. Does she have no sense of self-preservation at all?

  I pulled out of the parking lot and followed the small glowing dot. She was unknowingly moving closer to me. It only took me a moment to spot small cherry red convertible. I slipped inside the club and made my way to the far side of the bar. It took every ounce of my will power not to go to her side. She was surrounded by men and with the clothes that she was wearing, it wasn’t a surprise. I watched her, trying to convince myself that she wasn’t mine to worry about but the note had made that decision for me. She was in danger, and whether she took that seriously or not, I had to. I pulled out my phone and dialed her number.

  “Bad girl” I said as I heard her breathe heavily into the phone.

  “We just went out for a few drinks. How did you…” Her voice trailed off. She nervously bit down on her bottom.

  “Stop biting your lip before I bend you over the bar and punish you right here.” I couldn’t help but laugh at my own twisted thoughts. I lie to myself about protecting her, and all the while, I want to torture her. I stared past the pretty little blonde who had perched herself between us. I waited. Emma’s gaze scanned the bar until it finally fell on me. Her cheeks burnt with anger. I knew she would be upset that I was here. I didn’t care.

  “How did you know?” Her face looking like she was trying to solve a problem in her head. I smiled.

  “I activated the GPS on your phone.” I motioned for the bartender to fill my drink, knowing I was going to need it.

  “You what?” She was angry. Over her shoulder, Becka had noticed me and I heard her say my name in the receiver. I turned quickly, trying to make it less obvious whom I was staring at.

  “We are leaving now” I wanted to take her back to my place. It would be safer than this club.

  “I’ll be out for a few more hours.” She replied and the phone went dead. How could she not understand that I was trying to protect her? I glared down the bar at her. Becka was hugging her and over the music, I could hear her ordering another round of drinks. I clenched my jaw as I resisted the urge to grab her and carry her out of this place. I sent her a quick message before ordering another drink.

  Last chance

  I watched her look down at the phone and shrug before turning away. My stomach knotted. A man came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. I nearly broke the glass in my hand. His name was Jeff and he was in one of my classes. She looked over her shoulder, smiling. Pain ripped through me as I watched her exchange pleasantries with him. His hands lingered on her body. I typed out a quick warning, hoping she would end this little game.

  I will fucking kill him if he puts his hands on you again.

  I didn’t know how seriously she would take my threat, but I meant every word. She didn’t look my way. Hand in hand her and her new friend walked out into the dance floor and began to move against one another. His hands moved possessively over her body. I felt the heat in my body rise as I thought how I would make him pay.

  “You wanna dance?” The pretty little blonde was leaning closer and I finally allowed myself to look at her. She smiled and ran her fingers down my chest. I grabbed her wrist and pulled it back from my body. She looked rejected. I pulled her towards me so her face was inches from mine. I wonder what Emma will think. I wonder if she would feel the way I feel with someone else touching her. The blo
nde stepped closer, filling the void between us.

  “You seem like a man who knows what he wants.” She whispered in my ear. Emma had turned around and our eyes met for a brief moment.

  “It’s not you. I’m sorry” I whispered back in her ear. Emma had already resumed her dance. I pushed the blonde away from me slightly so I could slide out from behind her. She stormed off, rejected. I knew exactly how she felt. I made my way outside, letting the cool night air pull me away from the thudding beat of the music and the equally fast beat of my heart. I stumbled to my car, looking for refuge. I couldn’t leave her here, not knowing how she will get home and if she will be safe. If she will be alone.

  I sat for a few minutes doing a little searching on my phone to find out more about Jeff while I waited. It only took a minute to locate him as a newly added friend on one of Emma’s social network pages. I read over his information, looked through his pictures. It is amazing how much personal information people willingly give out, without a second thought. I thought of how easy it would be for whoever threatened me to find out the same from Emma. Within minutes, you could find out where someone lived, where they liked to hang out and who with. A flood of light came from the front of the building, catching my attention. Emma stepped out of it like an angel exiting the gates of heaven. She was looking at her phone, oblivious to my presence. I waited, hoping no one would follow her out. No one did. The doors closed slowly behind her as she made her way out to the street and began walking towards her home, with no concern for the dangers that lurked in the darkness.

  I felt the anger rise inside of me again. I pulled out behind her. She didn’t look at me as I pulled up beside her and it ripped me apart inside.

  “Get the fuck in the car.” I didn’t care how it sounded. All I cared about was her safety. She stopped but still didn’t look my way. “Don’t make me repeat myself.” I warned, hoping she knew just how serious I was. She bit down on her lip and got in, not looking my way. I drove off into the night, wanting to put as much distance between us and the club as possible. She was killing me inside and she was oblivious to it, or she just didn’t care. The thought made my anger magnify. We drove in silence. The only sound was the clicking of her seatbelt as we sped down the dark road.

  I pulled inside the garage bay of my building, not waiting for the door to close completely behind us before getting out and slamming the door hard. I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t guarantee her safety with myself. I ran my hands through my hair and made my way up to the next floor, not waiting for her.

  I waited at the top of the stairs as I counted every step she took, closing the gap of space between us. She looked down at the ground as she walked by and made her way inside. How fitting it was to watch her only moments before walking out of the light, and now she followed me into the darkness.

  Chapter Twenty

  I walked inside, locking the door behind me. I didn’t say a word, didn’t look her way. I walked to the far side of the room to the elevator and waited for the doors to open. I wanted to take her for granted. I listened, counting the steps she took across the hardwood floor before taking her place by my side.

  The ride to the next level was excruciatingly long. She didn’t look my way, didn’t make any attempt to touch me. As the doors opened again I stepped out onto the dark floor.

  “Come here” I said, looking back at her. She hesitated but stepped forward.

  “What are you thinking?” She asked. She wanted to sound confident but her voice betrayed her, wavering under her words. I smiled as I thought of how many answers there were to that question.

  “I was thinking… I don’t know if I can trust myself with you right now.” I glanced at her, gauging her reaction. I wouldn’t have blamed her if she fled. If she knew anything about me, she knew I was to be taken seriously. I wanted to hurt her. I always wanted to hurt her for the way she made me feel. I didn’t want to feel at all. I didn’t want to be hurt again, but here I was hurting. More than anything, I didn’t want her to have to feel any of that pain. It was torture and after her display tonight I couldn’t help but think she enjoyed inflicting me with it. She was biting her lip and staring at me. Not running, not looking at me with disgust. I reached over and used my thumb to free her lip from teeth.

  “I trust you.” Her words came out stronger and her voice was steady. I knew she meant it. The thought made me sick. I was leading the wounded doe eyed deer to slaughter and she willingly came.

  “You wouldn’t say that if you had any idea what I thought about doing to you tonight.” I was being brutally honest with her. She stepped towards me and every muscle in my body stiffened. She had no sense of self-preservation. I had no will power to stay away from her.

  “Punish me” Her voice barely above a whisper. My eyes shot to hers as I searched them. “Punish me” She repeated. She slowly reached towards me, her fingertips slowly trailing down my chest and over my stomach. I glanced down at her fingers and back to her.

  “Do you remember the safe word?” I asked, wanting her to understand what kind of events I had planned for her. She swallowed hard.

  “Flower” She whispered. I grabbed her wrists tightly, not able to stay away any longer. I pulled her across the room. My eyes scanned the room, trying to decide exactly how I wanted to punish her. I came to a stop in front of one of my favorites. It had a large incline on one side and two smaller on the other.

  “Bend over” I couldn’t look her in the eye. Not with the thoughts I had running through my head. She stared at me helplessly, unsure of what she should do. I spun her around and pushed her down over the device, her body folding over the top of it. I sunk to my knees and secured her ankles in the leather straps on each incline. I wasn’t wasting my time making it sensual. I came around to the other side of her and pulled her arms towards the floor, securing them as well. She looked up at me helplessly, but I didn’t meet her gaze.

  “William, I’m sorry” She was on the verge of tears. That only made me angrier.

  “Not nearly as sorry as you are going to be.” I moved back behind her, not wanting her eyes on me any longer. She could see past my walls I had built up. It scared me. I pulled me belt from my pants and wasted no time making her feel the pain I had all night. I came down across her back side and she pulled against the restraints. I waited but no safe word came. I stuck again. She didn’t scream, barely letting a whimper escape. I stuck again, not bothering to soothe her or comfort her. Again. Again. My adrenaline was coursing through my body and I was on a different plane of existence. Again. Again.

  “Stop” She cried out. I struck again. Again. “Please” She cried out, louder this time. She did not safe word and I did not slow.

  “Do you have any idea what I wanted to do to you at that club? Any idea what I wanted to do to that guy who had his hands all over you?” I struck again, carefully hitting a different spot than the last.

  “I’m sorry” Her words where choked. “Please” I could hear the crying in her words. I let the belt slip between my fingers, it banged loudly on the hard wood floor, echoing around us. I had hurt her. I quickly undid her leg restraints and made my way to the front of her to undo her wrists. Her head hung in defeat in front of me. I tipped her chin up, angling her face towards mine. I wiped her swollen tear stained cheeks with my finger and quickly lifted her in my arms. I carried her to the elevator, wanting to get her as far away from this place as possible. She buried her face in my neck and began to sob quietly.

  “Why didn’t you use the safe word?” I asked as her eyes met mine. I felt my gut wrench at the sight of her in so much pain.

  “I didn’t want to upset you.” She nuzzled back against me. I was sickened by her confession. Until this moment I thought she didn’t care. How could she care? Now she was putting herself in danger to please me. Animal.

  I carried her to my bathroom. I sat her down, making sure she was steady on her feet before running the water.

  “What are you doing?” I didn’t
know how to respond. I wanted her to wash away any lingering of me. I wanted to make her whole again. Pure.

  “I thought a bath might make you feel better.” She looked at me dazed for a moment before stumbling forward and placing her hand on my chest. I didn’t pull away. I deserved any discomfort or pain she could inflict upon me.

  “Please don’t go” Her voice was full of sadness. A lone tear slid down her pink cheek. I wiped it away, wishing it were that easy to get rid of all of her pain. She pushed forward, her mouth finding mine, hungrily. I couldn’t resist her. For a moment, I gave in. Her lips grew hungry and she slipped her tongue past mine. I pulled back, wishing I hadn’t ever acted on my feelings for her.

  “Get washed up. You will feel better.” I turned off my emotions, not wanting to feel anything anymore. I left, closing the door behind me, hearing her muffled sobs in the back of my mind.

  I had ruined her life in the short time I had known her. I lied to myself, telling myself I was helping her, protecting her. The only person she needed protected from was me. I couldn’t control myself when I was around her. My every waking thought was clouded and consumed by her.