Safe Word Read online

  Her tongue rolled over the sensitive underside of my cock and my fingers fisted in her hair, holding her on me as I slowly began to fuck her mouth, pushing deeper with each thrust.

  “God, you are fucking beautiful.” I dragged my eyes down her body. Her mouth was full of my cock, her tits heaved as her breathing grew more ragged, and her fingers slid between her folds as she worked to get herself off. Pure fucking perfection. “Don’t come. Not yet.”

  Her fingers slowed to lazy circles as she swirled her tongue down my shaft. I grabbed my balls, massaging them in my hand.

  “I want you on all fours.” I slowly pulled out of her mouth. “Now.”

  She rolled to her side and pushed herself up on her knees, and I took a moment to admire the view.

  I leaned forward and ran my tongue over her as she cried out at the sudden touch.

  “You taste so fucking good, sweetheart.” I lay down and grabbed her knee, pulling it over my head so she was straddling my face. “Show me how much you want me.”

  Her hand circled around me and she squeezed as she wrapped her lips around me and began to suck my dick. I grabbed her ass with both hands and pulled her down to my face as I devoured her. Her hips rolled against me as she fucked my face.

  I was intoxicated by lust, by Lily. I would have given her anything she asked for in that moment, as long as I could feel the heat of her body against mine. Her teeth grazed my sensitive skin and I growled, gripping her ass tighter as I shoved my tongue inside of her. Her lips left my cock as her head flew back and she moaned, pushing herself against me.

  I was so lost in the moment that when she cried out as she came, I never heard the door to the bedroom open.

  “That was quite a show.” Whitey laughed as he ran his hand over his chin. “Can I get next?”

  I pushed Lily off me, keeping myself between her and Whitey as she scrambled to cover herself with the sheet. A man I didn’t recognize stood behind him in the doorway.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  “You didn’t respond to your messages. The meeting was half an hour ago.” He smirked as he shook his head. “I wouldn’t have answered either if I had that sweet ass on my face.”

  I stood, my cock painfully hard and suffering from one of the worst cases of blue balls in fucking history. I gathered Lily’s clothes and tossed them to her before grabbing my jeans and sliding them on.

  “I’ll be right out.” I clenched my jaw as I waited for Whitey to leave the room. I ran my hands over my hair as I tried to figure out my next move.

  “Colt…”

  I glanced up at Lily, who was frantically pulling her clothes on. Panic marred her beautiful face.

  “I’m sorry.” I shook my head as I took a deep breath.

  “What does that mean? What is going to happen now?” She rose up on her knees and came to the edge of the bed. I ran my fingers through her hair and gripped it as I placed a kiss on her forehead.

  “Nothing good.” I took a step back from her before turning to my dresser and grabbing a navy-blue T-shirt from the drawer. “Let’s go, sweetheart.” I pulled the shirt over my head and held out my hand to help her off the bed.

  I led her from my room into the spare bedroom. I knew she was waiting for me to say something, anything to help ease her worries, but I didn’t want to lie to her.

  “Take a shower while I’m gone. Everything you need is in your bathroom.”

  She nodded, dazed as I backed out of the room and secured the lock on her door. I grabbed my sneakers and slid them on.

  “Let’s go.” I walked straight to the front door as Whitey followed along with his backup. We began our descent down the stairs, and I wished I had grabbed my gun, even though I knew it would be of little use.

  Whitey left me to my thoughts as I slid into his dark sedan with tinted windows and we drove to Fig.

  Danny was sitting in the corner booth, flanked by two other men I didn’t recognize.

  “I despise waiting, Colt,” he said as he picked up his mug of coffee and took a tentative sip.

  “My apologies. I lost track of time.” I inclined my head toward Danny and he waved his hand, motioning for us to sit. My eyes cut to Whitey who held up two fingers to the waitress so she would bring us coffee.

  “I hate to cut straight to business, but I have other things to do today.” Danny leaned forward, his elbows on the table. “You have proven yourself to be a good asset. That is invaluable to me.” He stopped speaking as a young waitress with a blonde ponytail appeared at our side, filling up two mugs of coffee.

  “Thank you,” I mumbled as I grabbed the container of sugar and poured it into my cup.

  “The coffee tastes like ass here, but I don’t mind the view.” Whitey’s eyes locked on the waitress’s ass as she walked away, before he grinned at me. “I’m sorry, Colt. I’m sure your coffee tastes much…sweeter.”

  I tensed as I glared at him, waiting for him to open his big fucking mouth to Danny.

  “Share with the class, Whitey.” Danny sat back in his seat as he slowly sipped his drink.

  “I caught Colt with his hand in the cookie jar, or his mouth…” He laughed as he raised his eyebrow.

  “This certainly changes things.”

  “It was consensual.” I scanned the bar, two waitresses and the guy behind the bar. We were the only patrons. If this went south there would be limited casualties.

  “This could prove to be very bad for us. You just added rape to the charges if we get caught. This was supposed to be about money.”

  “I didn’t fucking rape her.”

  “Regardless, I won’t muddy my hands any further. Get rid of her. I don’t care how you do it. Make it fucking disappear.”

  “Consider it done.” Bile rose in my throat and I struggled not to reach across the table and strangle that smug fucking rat.

  “Good. I like you, Colt, a hell of a lot more than I liked your old man, God rest his soul. Now onto more pressing matters. I have a shipment of heroin coming in three days. The profits will be enough to fund future operations and expand our business. We’re talking about setting up shop in every major city.” Danny poked his finger into the old Formica table top to drive his point home.

  “Understood. What can I do to help?”

  Chapter Eleven

  There Is No Us

  The entire ride home all I could think about was Lily. A million possibilities flooded my brain, but I knew none of them was an option. I had a job to do. I was in too deep to back out now.

  The apartment was quiet as I entered. I slipped off my sneakers and leaned against the wall.

  “Cole?” Lily called form her room. I sighed, looking up at the ceiling before making my way to her room.

  “It’s me, darlin’.” I undid the lock and pulled open the door. Lily flew into my arms, dressed in only a towel. Her damp hair pressed against my face as I placed my hands on her shoulders and pushed her back from me.

  “What? What happened? Are they going to hurt us?”

  “There is no us, sweetheart. Put some clothes on.” I turned to go back in the living room, leaving her dazed. I couldn’t look into her eyes anymore. It fucking killed me to see the pain and betrayal that flashed across them.

  “I don’t have any clothes.” I could hear her footsteps behind me and I stopped walking, clenching my fists at my sides.

  “Don’t come out here like that. What happened between us was a mistake.”

  “Then why do you care what I am wearing?”

  I turned to face her. Water dripped from her hair onto the wood floor. The long strands clung to the tops of her breasts.

  “Just because I said it won’t happen, doesn’t mean I don’t want it to.”

  Her cheeks flushed and she ran her tongue over her lips. I narrowed my eyes at her, letting her know I knew the game she was playing. She wasn’t innocent, and just because she liked to be told what to do, didn’t mean she didn’t call the shots.

  “This
is fucking serious, Lily.” I couldn’t hide the fear in my eyes and I was sickened by the fact that I was letting feelings get in the way.

  “I’m scared.” Her gaze fell to the floor.

  “You should be. I don’t know if I can save us from this.” I walked off into the kitchen and began pulling open cupboard doors, looking for food. I couldn’t look at her anymore. “You need to eat something. I completely forgot…”

  “It’s fine. Food sounds good. Can I watch television?” I was beginning to fucking lose it and Lily was keeping calm. Just moments ago she looked like she was going to burst into tears, but she immediately switched gears when she saw my mood shift. That was something I always loved about Rose.

  “Fuck!” I slammed the cupboard closed and scrubbed my face with my hands. The girl I loved is dead.

  I nodded as I leaned against the sink, squeezing my eyes shut. Lily had too much faith in me. I didn’t deserve any of it. We had enough worries on our shoulders and I couldn’t even fucking remember to feed her.

  “Is Shawn going to pay?”

  That brought me back from the edge that I was precariously balanced on. I looked over at her, sitting on my couch, flipping through the channels. She had made herself at home in my apartment, my life. But she was concerned about leaving me again. She wanted to go back to that cheating piece of shit. Lily had an endgame planned, and it didn’t involve me.

  “Yeah, he’s gonna pay.” I meant it in a completely different way, but she didn’t catch it. She was concentrating on the news about a bombing that had gone off at a baseball game in Texas.

  I grabbed the bread and threw together a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for her. I wrapped it in a paper towel and went to her room.

  “What are you doing?” She sat forward, watching me as I came out of the room.

  “You want to eat you need to do it in there. I have to take a shower.”

  “I’ve been locked in there all morning.”

  “Do I need to remind you who is in charge?”

  She glared at me as she pushed from the couch and walked angrily toward me. I pulled the door closed after she entered and slipped the lock in place. I walked into my room as I pulled my shirt off and tossed it across the room, before sliding off my jeans and heading into my bathroom. The silence was too much. I turned on the small radio on my towel cabinet, cranking the volume until I could no longer hear my own thoughts.

  There was too much on my plate. Rose had come back into my life, her fiancé was a cheating piece of shit, and I had to figure out a way to make Rose disappear. Lily I reminded myself. She wasn’t Rose anymore. That on top of keeping myself on the good side of the mob so I could complete my job.

  I turned on the cold water and stepped under the spray. The heat had been unbearable the last few days. I grabbed the shampoo and squeezed some into my hand, massaging it into my scalp before dipping my face into the stream of water.

  Everything was unraveling and I couldn’t see the end anymore. I lathered body wash in my hand and ran it over my body. I was fucking losing it. Losing everything and becoming caught up in something that I wasn’t sure was even real when it happened. My hand made a second pass over my dick, and I gripped it, remembering what her soft, delicate fingers felt like against me.

  I closed my eyes and hoped that getting off would help clear my head. It was a small crime to think of her while I came, but my body wouldn’t comply. I had the real thing locked up in the next room and I wanted another taste. At least I would die a happy man.

  I turned off the water and pushed open the curtain. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and couldn’t look myself in the eye. I wrapped a towel loosely around my waist and made my way to my room to grab the keys for the spare bedroom. I unlocked her door before I could second guess myself. I needed to get her out of my system.

  “I want to play a game.” I stood over Rose as she sat on the edge of the mattress.

  “What kind of game?” Her eyes travelled up my stomach, finally resting on my face. I reached down and cupped her cheek in my hand. I loved looking down at her as nervousness and anticipation overtook her.

  “You scared, sweetheart?” I ran my thumb over her cheekbone as she sucked her lower lip into her mouth. “Don’t do that.” I stuck my thumb into her mouth to free it and her tongue grazed the tip of my finger. “That’s dangerous, Rose. You’re making my cock hard.”

  “You called me Rose.” A glint of excitement flashed in her eyes.

  “Do you trust me?”

  “You’re the only person I trust.”

  “Stand up.” I waited for her to push to her feet before grabbing the towel on her body and yanking it off her. It fell to the floor around her feet. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” I grabbed my towel, pulling it from my hips and dropping it on top of hers. Her eyes fell to my cock that was hard and ready for her before moving back up to mine. “I’m going to fuck you, and I won’t be nice about it.”

  She sucked in a quiet breath as I reached out and ran my fingers over her clit.

  “Go lie on my bed and wait for me.”

  Part of me wanted to talk myself out of what I was doing. I knew there was no coming back from the feelings I was allowing, but I didn’t really care. It was a crippling addiction and I didn’t want the cure. I had convinced myself that if we were fucking it wasn’t the same as making love, and there was a difference. I knew better but for the time being it made it all seem all right.

  I strode into my bedroom, determined to prove myself wrong. I could indulge and not get hurt. This game we played as Lily and Colt didn’t change who we really were or what had happened between us. The difference would come in my ability to walk away from her when this was all over and not lose myself in her memory like I had before.

  She was a vision of submissive perfection, sprawled out over my bed with her legs spread. She unabashedly ran her fingers over her pussy as her tongue ran slowly over her lower lip.

  I kept my eyes glued to her as I walked to my dresser and pulled the handcuffs from the drawer. I dangled them from my finger as I smiled down at her. Her tits heaved as she became nervous, her fingers slowing to a stop.

  “Did I tell you to stop?” I crawled up the end of the bed between her legs, hovering over her body until we were eye to eye. The head of my cock brushed against the back of her hand as she continued to play with herself. I took her free hand and secured the handcuff around one wrist and the other end in a slat of the headboard. “Do you want me to fuck you?” I asked as my fingers slid over her cuffed wrist and trailed lightly down the exposed underside of her arm. She shivered as it tickled her and her damp fingers circled my cock as she pushed the head against her clit and began to slowly rub it over her.

  “I want to fuck you, Rose. I want to do it on my terms. It may hurt but in a very good way.”

  “I want you,” she whispered and I smiled, brushing her hair from my face. My body jerked as my sensitive head pressed harder against her pussy.

  “I need you to trust me completely,” I panted as I wrapped my fingers around hers and began to rub harder.

  “I do. I promise I do.”

  “I know you do, sweetheart, and now you’re going to prove it. If you want me to stop I promise you I will. All you have to do is say the word and I will stop whatever I am doing.” Part of me felt like I was still making her pay for the past. I needed to know she wasn’t going to run from me again.

  “I’ll tell you to stop if it is too much.”

  “I expect you to beg me to stop. It’s in your nature. You don’t want to be the bad girl that you are.” I pushed the head of my cock into her tight hole and her breath caught. “I like that about you. I like how innocent you are when inside you’re hoping I fuck you.” I pulled back and pushed against her entrance again. “If it becomes too much say storm and I promise you I will stop. Seems fitting given our past.” Rose and I had always used variations of safe words together, but under very different circumstances. Sh
e nodded as her eyes fell to my lips and I knew she was waiting for me to kiss her.

  “Say the word, Rose. Tell me your safe word.”

  Her eyebrows pulled together as I teased her. I smiled, loving how lost in the moment she was, but I couldn’t continue until I knew she knew how to stop me. I wanted to lose control with her, but I wanted her to be safe. I planted kisses down her chest, rolling my tongue over her nipple and placing a trail of quick kisses down her stomach. I loved the smell of her when she wanted me, and I needed to taste her, to feel her against my tongue. I pushed my lips against her mound as I would her mouth, running my tongue over her entrance. She cried out and held her legs open as they involuntarily pulled closed. I wanted to lick up every drop of her excitement, but I was getting ahead of myself. This was about more than what we had done before. This was about making Rose mine and taking her.

  I backed off her body and grabbed her hip.

  “Roll over, darlin’. I want to see that perfect ass.”

  I helped her flip over, careful not to hurt her wrist that was cuffed to the headboard.

  “Up on your knees.” I helped her slide up until her ass was raised high in the air and I had a perfect view of her pussy from behind. I palmed her ass cheeks in each hand and ran the tip of my tongue over her slit and up her lower back. She moaned quietly, the sound muffled by my pillow. “I want to make you feel good, sweetheart.” I ran my fingers between her lips and slid my fingers over her back hole, slicking it with her juices. She didn’t object or pull away. “I’ll do things that you may not think you will like, but will fucking enjoy, I promise you.” My hand came down fast and hard on her left ass cheek and her body lurched forward, more from shock than pain. “Some things may be too much and you need to know your safe word to have me stop.” I ran the palm of my hand over the pink hand print to soothe her, letting the tips of my fingers brush against her dampness. “Only you know your limits. Now tell me what your safe word is.”

  “Storm.”

  “Good girl.” I rubbed her clit and she rocked her hips, looking for her release. I looked over her, face down and chained to my bed, and my cock strained. She was mine. She was giving herself to me for whatever I wanted. As my pointer finger glided over her pussy, I rubbed the pad of my thumb over her little ass. She only hesitated for a second before she fell back into her rhythm.